Relationship and Couples Counselling
Working online with individuals and couples
Our healthy connections to others and to ourselves are vital to our wellbeing.
One of the most pivotal connections is with a romantic partner. This relationship can be a great source of joy and colour.
But when the colours begin to fade, along with the energy and fun, the resulting drabness and despair can seem hopeless.
If you’re like many of the couples I work with, you’ll relate to this:
- You miss the easy intimacy and fun you once had
- You find yourselves increasingly cross with each other
- Everything you’re doing seems to lead you away from the relationship you long for….. and your despair is growing
- You dislike the person you’ve become to your partner and to yourself
- Your sense of general wellbeing is sapped
Some of the difficulties that may have brought you here:
- Although you may not be telling actual lies, you know you’re also not telling the truth
- You’re both so triggered that nothing important is ever addressed
- The differences you once loved now feel like threats
- A crisis, such as an affair, has stunned you
- Trust is lost
I know how discouraging any of these can be.
Most relationships die of neglect rather than conflict.
This is great news because the antidote to neglect is attention.
Attention means increasing your awareness of how you turn up, how you react or respond and why.
It means noticing the patterns of interaction between you as well as the blockages that keep you stuck.
Attention also means being able to choose, in the moment, whether to make a situation worse or better.
It means clearly and honestly identifying the relationship you long for.
It means understanding that change is gain.
You’ll breathe a sigh of relief when harmony has returned to your home.
Better still, you’ll know what you have contributed to the new connection between you.
And you’ll understand how you can maintain it or refresh it again if it is challenged.
When colour and energy return to your life through your relationship you breathe a sigh of relief. You like yourself again and life feels great.
You move out of surviving into thriving.
You go out into the world again full of the energy of being you.
Hi, I’m Lisa Stevenson
Relationship and Couples Counsellor
I’ve specialised in relationships for more than 15 years helping couples and individuals create the relationship they dream of.
During those years, I’ve had the privilege of walking alongside several hundred couples and of sharing both their vulnerabilities and joys.
I’m a passionate believer in our ability to create the relationship we aspire to. We just need to agree that the power lies within ourselves. I’ve proved this to be true in my own journey and have seen people discover it for themselves over and over again.
I’ve trained in the Developmental Model of Couples Therapy under Ellyn Bader at the Couples Institute and with Martha Kauppi at the Institute for Relational Intimacy.
My work is collaborative with couples and individuals to promote a safe environment in which they can create the relationship they long for.
I know from experience how much brighter life is when connections at home are good and how tough life can be when your closest relationship no longer nourishes you.
Relational sexuality and intimacy are also a keen interest of mine. I will help you explore what has stolen your spark and what has gone wrong. More especially, the implicit messages you might be living by without realising it.
My mission is to help you see that you are your best resource for creating the relationship you long for. My job is to help you work out how to do that.
There is nothing more thrilling than seeing people catching the vision for how they can positively affect their most intimate connection.
Work With Me
Find out how to replace your feelings of hopelessness, disconnection and anxiety with a seed of hope. I can help you look at the dynamics between you so you rediscover your power to create the relationship you long for.
Feeling stuck and disconnected from ourselves and others can overshadow life and all our relationships.
Perhaps you notice your own repetitive patterns or you’re here alone because your partner refuses to get help. Find out how I can help you make better choices for the outcome you long for.
Online supervision for qualified counsellors/psychotherapists already working with couples and relationship issues, and for those seeking to develop their work further by adding couples to their offering
“Lisa is just about the most non-judgemental person I have ever met. With patience and an amazing ability to listen she saved me from walking out on a relationship which I had given up on, by helping me to understand that I do have the ability to change things. As a direct result of the help and guidance provided by Lisa I would like to think that I am now a better listener, I articulate better and I am more considerate in the way I express myself. My advice would be not to leave things until crisis point; consult sooner rather than later.”
“Lisa is an incredibly gifted counsellor. I have been to see her on several occasions in a couples counselling situation with my wife. Honestly at the time I felt that there was no way through with my relationship and I didn’t even think that I wanted a way through. However, over time and with non-judgmental conversation, my wife and I were able to begin to see what was important for ourselves and learnt to listen to each other in a safe and secure environment. Lisa never made suggestions of what we should do or feel but clarified points when she felt that one party had not really ‘heard’ what the other was saying. I never felt judged or that what I had said had shocked Lisa and was able to comfortably share my most intimate thoughts and feelings with both her and more importantly with my wife. I would whole-heartedly and unreservedly recommend Lisa to any individual or couple. She will help you process your feelings and find a way through regardless of the outcome.”
“Our marriage was in serious trouble before we came to see Lisa. She brought peace, assurance and life to a withered rose. The issue of communication and trust affected us in different ways and it was taking a toll on our relationship. From our first session, I saw changes. Not just in my husband but in myself. Lisa taught us the importance of respecting our differences, and at no point was she ever judgmental. My husband was not interested in going to a counsellor but now he tells me that it is the best decision that we made for our marriage. Lisa is very warm, friendly and a very good listener. I will forever be grateful for her assistance. I believe with all my heart that Lisa has been blessed with the gift of counselling.”
“Lisa has been immensely helpful in saving our marriage. When we went to her for help, we were on the brink of divorce. She helped us work through the damage done over 10 years and taught us practical skills on restoring safety and enhancing our communication. Lisa is very caring and encouraging in the way that she works with you. She doesn’t impose solutions but rather helps you reflect on what you want and what your motivations and fears are. While focusing on each of you as individuals, she then brings you to reflect on your goals as a couple and helps you to see where there is congruence. She uses practical exercises and strategies that help you uncover why you are together and that build common ground and rituals that protect your relationship. We are very indebted to her for all her help. With her skills, guidance and care we have been able to overcome huge obstacles and are a much stronger couple as a result.”
“Lisa has had a tremendous impact on my life. She was there for me during hugely tough and dark times in my marriage and my life in general. She has helped me to see things from other perspectives and equipped me with ‘tools’ with which to cope in everyday life.”
“I went to see Lisa when life became too complicated for me to work out what to do. Lisa didn’t just give me empathy, she gave me insight into myself. By understanding the root causes of my behaviour I could address it. I like the person I am becoming and I am sure that I would not have figured it out on my own. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.”
What you can expect from me
I like to work with what is missing rather than what is wrong.
I want to know what else, and what more you want to experience in your relationship.
And then I want to help you find your way there.
A truly essential part of any relationship is for each person to turn up honestly and with accountability. This means knowing yourselves and what you want, hope for, value and believe.
Imagine knowing how to hold yourself steady while you share it all with your lover and again whilst they share themselves with you too.